Vol 4 / SPECIAL EDITION
How should a teacher react in the moment when a student crosses the line and shows blatant disrespect?
It was only the sixth day of the school year, and already the disrespect from two students was enough to make me not want them in my classroom. The conflict started over something simple, cell phones. Students knew the policy, phones needed to be put away during class. But when I asked two of them to follow it, they became blatantly disrespectful. What should have been a routine redirection suddenly turned into a moment of defiance that shook the classroom atmosphere. Their behavior cut deep, and my immediate reaction was annoyance. But then another question hit me hard ~ Did I want to fix the disrespect, or was I just trying to fix my ego?
I had wanted to speak with each student one-on-one afterward. When I tried, one of them blew me off completely and said, flat out, that she didn’t want to talk. For a moment, I felt the sting of disrespect, here I was, extending an olive branch, and she pushed it away. My instinct was to demand the conversation right then, to reassert authority. But I realized that forcing it in the moment would only escalate the tension.
That moment forced me to rethink how I handled discipline, authority, and my own emotions in front of students. Here’s what I learned:
1. I learned I needed to correct the behavior, not the student
Early on, I was tempted to label those students as “disrespectful.” But labeling the student didn’t change the behavior, it only built more walls between us. Instead, I began to focus on the action itself ~ “That comment was disrespectful,” or, “That behavior crossed the line.” In doing so, it shifted the weight off my ego and onto accountability.
2. I learned to respond with composure, not emotion
On day six, everything in me felt a-crumbling. But instead, I took a breath, steadied my voice, and responded calmly. I’ve learned that composure communicates strength far more than yelling ever could. Students notice when you control the room without losing control of yourself.
3. I learned it takes more strength to follow up privately
I had wanted to speak with each student one-on-one. When I tried, one of them blew me off completely and said she didn’t want to talk. Publicly, I knew I had to hold the line and not let the disrespect slide. But privately, I still wanted to understand the why behind their words. In some cases, those conversations revealed frustration, personal struggles, or simply immaturity. Their actions weren’t excusable, but those private check-ins often turned what could have grown into long-term resentment into an opportunity for growth and understanding.
That sixth day taught me one of the hardest lessons ~ disrespect in the classroom isn’t really about me. If I let my ego drive my reaction, I lose the chance to teach something bigger than medical terminology, I lose the chance to teach respect itself. By separating behavior from identity, choosing composure over ego, and following up with care, I’ve learned that even the worst moments can be transformed into building blocks for a stronger classroom community.
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